Forgiveness.

Lately I've been able to reflect on situations that I have always had a hard time letting go of. It has been difficult to forgive myself for mistakes that I cannot change. 

We shouldn't have to beat ourselves up over something that already has happened. All that we can do is remember that it taught us a lesson and we can still become a better person from it. This also means that if we are going to forgive ourselves, that we should also forgive those who have done us wrong. 

How do you start forgiving yourself? Many have already found ways to do this, but then there are others like me who still struggle with it. I have discovered that the best way to start forgiving yourself is to look at your current situation. Are there any relationships you can fix? Are you currently making yourself feel worse by not closing wounds? These are some questions you can ask yourself and have found to be helpful. I truly believed that when I screwed up, it was never going to be fixed. I only thought this because I was afraid of losing others and knew how much I had hurt them. These mistakes would eat at me for years until I realized that some of these people were actually making it worse. Sometimes we must close these relationships and focus on what is healthier for ourselves. Our mistakes should never make us feel worse, but be a wake up call to understand that we are human and being imperfect is beautiful. That is why forgiveness can be challenging, because you think that you deserve that pain you brought to someone else. No one deserves pain, but they should see it as something that can make them stronger than before. 

Although we may be worrying about other peoples feelings, we should definitely be looking at our own first. Time does heal wounds and we will lose people along the way, but we want to forgive ourselves to move on with our lives and see the happiness we can gain from it right? I sometimes have been far too forgiving to others when I should have been more forgiving to myself. The delightful thing about being human is to figure out how to cope with these obstacles and once you overcome them, you feel free. I slowly have been forgiving myself for mistakes a have recently made. I can live happier now knowing I am forgiving myself for those I have hurt, and forgiving those who have hurt me. I would never be where I am today if I didn't.

-Alejandra Saunders 

5 Signs You're in a Highly Sacred Relationship by Mind.Body.Green

There is an abundant amount of articles on relationships pertaining to dating out there, but I really liked this one because I think these 5 signs are important whether you are dating, in a friendship, work relationship, or in a father-son relationship.

The 5 signs are:
1) You can be yourself.
2) You maintain individuality.
3) You have a mutual desire for personal evolution.
4) You "hold space" for each other.
5) You're peaceful.

Check it out in detail if you have time:

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12739/5-signs-youre-in-a-highly-sacred-relationship.html 

Swallowed in the Sea

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to just want to give up, because you can? How easy it is to be swallowed up by temporary emotions and not fixing it?

Stop.

I love this quote so much, because it has gotten me through the most. Although being positive can be a struggle, it is not impossible to achieve. 

I have severe anxiety, and for the longest time I let it eat at me till all of me became this negative person who forgot who she was. I thought that I should take my own life because easy is always better right? Wrong. The word easy should not be in your vocabulary. Strong. Hard-working. Stands up after a fall. Those are words a person should think of in themselves. As humans, we are capable of so much and yet we can't see it. We decide to stick to the basics and not challenge ourselves. You can't just assume that positive thoughts will be handed to you. It starts with the little things like quotes. Your favorite songs, and family and friends. Surround yourself with goal-oriented people who will push you out of any hole. 

I'll tell you one thing though, despite being as positive as I am... there are always days where my anxiety wants to take over. I over think and I'll just sit there for hours worrying about literally nothing. Some of you may experience it, and I'm here to tell you it's okay! We need to get it out of our system, but always stay busy. Start reading, go for a hike, and even write it all out. Exercise has been such a helpful tool in becoming more positive. Even if it just walking to the mailbox! At least you did it :)

I do have a big secret as to how I stay positive: Laughter

You are probably thinking that that's strange because how can you just laugh all the time? Oh but you can! I suggest you start doing it since it is extremely healthy and should pass it on to others. I am always making plenty of jokes and carrying out happiness by just laughing. I find it so enjoyable and refreshing. Of course, don't laugh in the middle of an important meeting but sit tall and know you are a wonderful human being!

You are the only one who chooses what thoughts are worth making your day. Choose positive over anything else and watch changes occur :)

Yours Truly,

Alejandra Saunders

                                                      

On Fire and Ice.

The Fire

I think a lot of us have a passion, or passions, in life.  Because there is something that keeps us going.

And many of us are blessed, whether we realize it or not.  Maybe we have food and water.  A bed.  Time.  A chance.  Maybe we are simply alive today.

So if I am blessed, and I have a passion, and opportunity, I should want to hop out of bed every morning, right??

Maybe not.

The Ice 

I hit a point for quite a while where I had great goals, but when I had to put a foot forward to start my journey, I froze, for several reasons.  Some of which were...

Overwhelming.

It's overwhelming to think of accomplishing our goals sometimes!  Here is a common goal I think a lot of us have tried to achieve at one point or another - weight loss.  We often don't want to lose just 1 or 5 pounds, but 20!  30!  And that's thousands of calories!  And hours of time!  And days - weeks - months.

So when the future comes in to our minds, so does the lethargy - don't get out of bed, don't cook for yourself, don't work out.

There is obviously a mental ice block we need to overcome.  We believe we are failures if we deviate from the weight loss plan for a meal.  Or a day.  Or don't see results.  Or try to live up to unrealistic expectations.  It's so important to focus on the moment.  Living in the moment can calm down this anxiety immensely.  We can enjoy our food, value our food.  Feel the strain on our muscles.  Become excited to get up in the morning a bit earlier than we did before.  We can see the value of the small step in the day as opposed to the entire walk.


Security.

You may not want to be there, but there is something secure in your current state.  It is sustainable.  It is predictable.  In this current state, you know how to get by.  Another example of a passion waiting to be fulfilled is applying for a job.  Suddenly we have to face possible acceptance, possible rejection.  We have to be willing to be appraised by our ability to fulfill the position requirements more than someone else is.

Take a deep breath and dive in.  It's the moments that you take a chance that are worth living.  It's the chances we take that give us victories and losses to remember and learn from.  And the glass is always half full - even if you don't get one job, you can learn how to prepare better for a future interview, how to gain experience to be better qualified for a job, or find a job that better fits your current resume.  Again, it is a step forward, towards change.


If we ever want to realize our passions, we need to find ways to put that first foot forward, and the one after it.  And value the journey, not the goal.  Because there is just as much beauty in an everyday accomplishment as there is in attaining the main objective.

A Safe Space.

I hope that this blog serves as a space for us to grow together.  To address our fears, our inhibitions, our pain.

We each have so much potential that deserves to be realized.  Maybe one day we need some humor.  Maybe one day we need a swift kick to the butt.  And other days, maybe we need to simply learn from each other.

The clock is always ticking...

So let's start the adventure!